Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Poo Patrol-- Reporting for duty

Lately my life has been full of poo-- No joke!

Here, let me explain.

The last few weeks it seems stinkiness has been placed in my path from all directions. First, both my dogs went through separate bouts of nighttime horror that left an awful mess for me to find and clean in the morning. I have no idea what set off their systems nearly simultaneously, but it wasn't pretty.

Then there is my toddler who refuses to do anything in the bathroom other than play, play, and sing. And while I'm wise enough to hold off on cloth diapers until the morning poo duty is done, he has recently begun (it seems) waiting for the cloth to hit his bottom before making a deposit. Often, just moments after being released from the changing table.


The most recent addition to my constant clean up has been with our foster dog, Lotus. All has gone remarkably well with her-- that is until this week. All thankfulness that she is housebroken has now been doused. Following her spay surgery she has been a constant mess of upset stomachs and backward explosions. And thanks to daily rainstorms, I've been forced to coop her up in the kennel for the safety of our rugs. But even the few times I have whisked her outdoors, she refuses to stay off the deck which means I still have a mess on my hands.


Who knew motherhood held so much... poo? It begins in infancy with leaky diapers and a shower of sprinkles every now and then, continues for the next few years with various degrees of messiness, and culminates with an attempt to potty train which means a wet bed and multiple clothing changes, then rushed searches for the nearest bathroom when they "gotta go" pronto. I've almost become desensitized to poo at this point-- almost.

It's a good thing that "daddy" was given the weak stomach and not I. Mothers need all the strength of stomach and nostrils that they can be given. It's part of the job description that poo, and vomit, and fluids you never imagined dealing with appear on your daily agenda. And on you. And even though I do wish all hands could be on duty right now, it's still nice to know I can handle it on my own if I have to.  

Still, I've been thinking... there has to be an upside in all this. Yes, tomorrow I shall buy stock in Bounty and Lysol anti-bacterial cleaner. I'm sure our house is solelyy responsible for soaring sales.

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