And then there were 4...

Trevor
7 lbs 10 oz
Born on Tuesday, October 18th at 4:06pm

"I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Baby room preview: Before and after makeover

We finished the baby room!

Here's a before and after of the new room for our little one. I love how it turned out, especially since I got everything to put it together before we moved in so it was the first time to see how it would look.

Here's the room before...

And here is what it looks like now...

I made the mobile, quilt, and rug which I think gives it a more personal touch.

It's good to be settling in and making the house our own.

Moving in and 35 weeks



We finally made the big move. At the last possible moment housing came through and I joined the hubby in Knoxville.

He happened to have inventory (a once a year event) that weekend so I managed the house during the movers coming and delivery our boxes. Lots of cleaning, little sleep, and two long days later the pets, Maddox, and I arrived. By Monday, we were moving in and painting.

It's been a whirlwind of unpacking, prepping, and preparing for baby #2. I finally hit my point of exhaustion yesterday but picked back up by this afternoon to work on refinishing our entry way wood floor and unpacking most of the garage.

I hate boxes. I hate disorganization. I hate not having the house set up. I want to focus on decorating and not unwrapping individual packed items.

By now, the little one has dropped and is sitting comfortably on my bladder and pelvis-- not so comfortably for me. It's coming down to the wire and seeing the crib all set up made it all very real, more real than it's been so far.

Is there really going to be a baby sleeping in that room? Are we really doing this again? It seems so long ago that we were at that point with Maddox.

That's all for now, but I also wanted to share this shot of Maddox getting curious while I was trying to photograph "the bump." Big brother is already trying to steal the show!



Happiness is a bargain and laundry detergent making 101

This morning on our way to run errands, I stopped at a few garage sales. At one moving sale I found my latest project-- a mirror from the 50's with a funky frame and shelves. I'd never seen anything like it before and bought it for just $10!

After a little ivory spray paint to cover the original flaking gold coat ($3.25 at Walmart), this is what it turned out like.

For a total of $13.25, I now have another fun piece for the baby's room.

My next project for the day was to try making my own laundry detergent. I'd been reading different recipes for detergent and decided the three ingredient ones were the easiest.

I mixed 2 bars of Fels Naptha soap (in the laundry aisle) by grating it with a cheese grater, 2 cups of Washing Soda, and 2 cups of Borax. I stirred it all together and stored it in a tupperware container with a small scoop.

You will have extra Borax and Washing Soda left over for the next batch and it only takes 1 Tablespoon to wash one load of laundry! In all, I believe the total was around $5 (including the generous amounts of the two ingredients left over).

Babies wear suspenders

I recently came across this idea for personalizing a baby onsie by adding suspenders! The idea came from HERE and inspired me to try my hand at some of my own.

This one has my version of a bow tie.

For security, I used fabric glue and then double stitched everything. You can never be too careful with wearables that also endure multiple washes.

I'd love to try applique techniques, but need to find more information to guide my first attempt. What I like about these are that they seem more sturdy than personalized onesies with iron-on designs. Those seem to come loose fairly quickly.

If you have other ideas for making your own onsie, feel free to pass it along.

Make-it-yourself baby mobile

So last week I gave a little teaser by sharing the fabrics I was using for a new project. After a few test runs, I finally made a mobile for the baby's room. Here's where I got the idea.

The fun patterns certainly caught Maddox's eye and he wants to play with it!

I'm not very skilled with glue, so I sewed the hanging strands around the rim of the mobile by hand. I also added buttons on the bottom circles to help weigh it down and add a little extra cuteness. I toyed with the idea of also putting buttons around the rim of the mobile but decided it would be too much going on.

I plan to hang it up with more brown ribbon, a little chain, and a hook.



Bibs, booties, and... a hand-stitched quilt

The quilt I started is finally done. I love that it incorporates the room colors but isn't so baby-ish that it has to be put away as he grows. 

I picked out the fabric for the smaller squares from furniture sample pieces on clearance. The backing is more of a muslin fabric and very soft. 

Instead of doing quilting, I decided to add buttons in corresponding blue, green, and cream. And while it doesn't make for a baby-safe quilt, it will be more for decoration anyway. Since it's hand-stiched I'd hate to have to wash it if it got dirty from use.

My squares and grid aren't as perfect as I wanted, but I still like how it turned out as a shabby chic handmade project.

 

A history of quilts

Quilts seem to be knit into our family. In a vintage suitcase in my closet are three quilts intricately stitched by my grandmother and great-grandmother. I take them out and smell the scent of the antique hands that lovingly pieced each together. I hope one day to display them by hanging them from hooks on the wall, but for now they're in safe keeping.

Back in high school I resurrected the tradition of hand quilting by making a windmill quilt. I sewed and quilted the entire piece by hand which took three years and a LOT of patience. Most of it was done while visiting our cabin in the woods where there is no television and few distractions so crafts were easier to tackle. At one time my quilt served as the bedspread for our guest room, but it too is tucked away right now.

Here's a photo of my hard work. I made it to fit a standard size or twin bed.

Now that my second son is on the way, I've decided to make another quilt by hand. Below is a photo of the fabrics I chose. My quilting may be a little rusty and I may not have as much free time as pre-child number one, but I think it will work well in the boys room.



"Hello world!" Sonogram photos have arrived

We had our second sonogram today to double-check and make sure everything looked good. Baby was perfect-- weighing in over a pound-- and even made an appearance this time in a 3-D photo.

It took a little prodding and a bathroom break to coax the little one out of the corner of the uterine wall (so the image would show up), but we finally got a clear glimpse.

Baby's been busy this afternoon, trying to feed a thumb into the mouth and sticking some toes in one eye. This one certainly kept the room entertained.

Rock a bye baby

It may be overdue, but I'm finally out of the woods and (mostly) feeling human again. Plus between managing all aspects of the house, work, a little one, and a physically demanding day every day I just haven't been ready.

So here it goes. (Sorry to those of you who are not getting a personal announcement but I've honestly told hardly anyone.)

Yes, I'm pregnant again. This weekend marks the 18 week check point. Maddox has started to pick out babies in the store and announce to me that he's found "a baby!" Which is good. A few months ago the only babies he recognized had fur and lived in our chinchilla room.

This week I switched to the midwife group that delivered Maddox. It's not that the doctor I have is not a nice lady, but the personal touch and concern with my midwife just doesn't compare. At my last appointment in the new office I finally felt comfortable about maternity care. I tend to freak out aka hyperventilate at doctors offices. So it was a relief-- to me and the poor nurses who have to figure out why my blood pressure is suddenly skyrocketing! (If anyone needs a midwife let me know.)

In two weeks, we'll find out if it's going to be pink or blue. Or rather, who will be sleeping in the green and brown crib sheets!

It's a little overwhealming but I hope to spend some time back with friends and family sometime after delivery.

Here's a photo of 18 weeks... and counting

My pregnancy and The evolution of mother's dreams

This week Maddox and I visited the Jones family who recently welcomed a baby boy into their family. It's been joyful to see the couple anxiously anticipating their son's arrival, preparing the baby room, and going through all the happy moments leading to the grand finale. Watching mother and child relaxing together on a Friday afternoon made everything seem so right.

It also brought back certain points in time for me. (Whose own son, I will mention, was reluctant to go inside and then decided to be shy and stand in the corner almost the entirety of our visit! Understand readers, that this is despite the fact that Heather has kept him overnight on more than one occassion and he always cries when he has to go home.)

I would like to be able to relate to those who had such a pregnancy, but mine was full of stress and worry throughout the entire 9 months. Thankfully, everything physically went smoothly but nothing else seemed to come easily.

The announcement of Maddox's presence came at what I believed was the worst possible time. I was only days from moving to Dallas and had a lot of plans forming for work and opportunities that did not include maternity leave. On top of this were other unanswered questions like Do the father and I stay together? Should I move or stay? Where will we get the money for a baby? How long will I have insurance? (The answer to this was that I had coverage until 6 months into the pregnancy, which at that point my employer dropped everyone's insurance and I was forced to apply for state coverage-- twice actually, but we will get to that later.)

Soon after the news that a baby was in our future, I became an emotional, dry-heaving, insomnia-at-night-and -napping-during-the-day, and hormonal mess.

At seven months, we moved to a brand new city. This was a blessing and a lot to handle in the last trimester. My only memories are 1. Packing the moving truck by myself since our friends were working and my significant other wouldn't be back in town until midnight (we had to hit the road around 7am the next morning) and 2. A very long drive with a rediculous number of bathroom stops.

Upon arriving in Nashville, I had to re-apply for insurance coverage. The process in Oklahoma was simple-- bring in a few pay stubs and various information forms to be approved on the spot. But in Nashville, which was also in the middle of a job market crisis that drove hundreds to apply for state benefits, it was not so simple. On a Monday, I went to the office between 6 and 7am to wait for the doors to open at 8. Everyone who hoped to MAKE AN APPOINTMENT was there lined up in an endless stream of people. I was too late and was dismissed that day. Two days later, I had to return at 5:30 am (mind you I was still having insomnia and often did not fall asleep until 8am so this was completely exhausting) and by 10 am I received an appointment to meet with someone who would review my eligibility. Later that afternoon I met with a counselor who filled out some forms for me and submitted my application.

Then I waited... and waited... and waited...

By month 9, I called the office every day asking where my approval and insurance cards were. "We're sorry," they'd say. "We're just very backed up right now. I'm sure they will be there soon." I finally hit my limit and in an exasperated moment told the telephone operator that if I didn't get my card I would be having the baby in my bathroom and NOT be delivered in a hospital where they expected me to hope insurance would pick up the bill later. My card arrived the next week.

In our first-time-parent preparedness, we did not do lamaze classes. We did not read any books (although I did read a very good book written by a midwife whose name I can't recall). We did not have a "birth plan." We did not have a hospital picked out. We did not have a delivery doctor (the clinic I was going to did not do deliveries, only pre-natal care). Most of our baby clothes were donated by a nice family that didn't need them. It all seemed like such a mess.

One week before juniors big arrival, I decided to walk through Vanderbilt hospital and spoke to a kind receptionist. I told her of my hesitation about hospitals and doctors and how I would like to possibly deliver at home but the father flatly refused that option. She suggested a midwife group that delivered at Vanderbilt and I made an appointment (not knowing that this far along most doctors will not begin seeing a new patient).

There was only time for one office visit (after a long debate about whether or not they would take me on) that was cut short due to overscheduling that day. They took my blood pressure and tried to gather my medical history, then sent me out the door. Less than a week later they delivered my child. 

Anxiety? Yes, let's say there was just a little!

My water broke on a Friday around 6pm at a small shopping mart by our apartment. I was in the middle of making dinner and had run to the store to get salad ingredients. On my way to the check-out counter I felt a slight wetness. Hmmm... then a little more... time to get home. Just as I handed my credit card to the checker there was a gush, gush, SPLASH! My water erupted and began dousing my legging-covered legs in an embrassing torrent. I raced out of the store, groceries in hand, and drove home.

Three clothing changes later I realized there was nothing I could do but put on a dress and grab a towel. Hastily I packed a bag for the hospital, not really knowing what to bring but remarkably doing a decent job. I texted dad who was still at work who texted back "Are you sure your water broke??" Ummm.. yes. Or I have major bladder issues that defy physical limitations.

I made him a quick salad and then drove to pick him up. To my dismay, every guy at work came outside to satisfy their curiosity about what a woman in labor looked like. I wasn't amused and refused to get out of the drivers seat with my giant towel tucked in place. I handed dad his salad and drove us to the hospital. (Well, kind of. The contractions were causing me to get light-headed and I ended up getting lost and turning a 30 minute drive to a one hour drive in rush hour traffic.)

23 hours later, Maddox was born.

I would like to say I was in love from the moment I saw him, but that would be a lie. I was certainly in awe, but also very surprised by the whole thing. How did the moving, growing bump I'd been carrying for so long and over so many miles suddenly turn into a tiny human? By the next day, we were happily bonded and still share a special closeness that is stronger than any other.

Children were nothing new to me, but a newborn was an entirely different responsiblity. I loved taking him with me and taking care of his needs, but also couldn't wait for him to grow up. His fragileness scared me. His helplessness made me rush home after leaving him home with dad for only 45 minutes. I slept restlessly, listening to each sound he made and to make sure he was breathing. I looked forward to "bigger."

Even more than his dad, I looked forward to discovering the world together, to play in the fall leaves, run around the house in a game of tag, read books together, and even fill a companionship that I yearned for. I couln't wait to hear him call me by name, tell me what he was thinking, see who he would look like, what color eyes he would have, and what kind of interests he'd develop.

Looking back, both moments in time were equally precious. Infancy has a sense of innocent sweetness that eventually changes. Not that children aren't sweet, but babies don't even know how to be naughty or disobey. They just do what they do and are...

Another thing I've learned is that as children get older, your role changes. Things like discipline, teaching good habits, showing a good example, and guiding makes your job more complicated. It takes more planning and consistency.

And yes, I do love the toddler stage.. most of the time.. but there are also times when I fail to enjoy THESE moments because THESE moments also completely wear a mother out.

It's funny how your hopes and dreams evolve over time. Childhood is a time for dreams, the making of theirs and the evolution of your own.